Back to Blog
CATESOL Book Review: The Bonjour Effect by Julie Barlow and Jean-Benoit Nadeau
12/26/2024
Michelle Skowbo
Roger Anderson
What does cracking the code of French conversation have to do with TESOL? This book was written by a French-speaking couple who lives in Montreal, Quebec. The wife is American, the husband is a native Quebecker, and their two adopted daughters are from Haiti. Together this couple gained notoriety through publishing two widely popular books on French culture, based on their four years (over the span of 15 years) living in France.
Despite speaking French fluently (natively), the couple too often felt exasperated when communicating with people in France. Not once did they cite the difference in their accents in French. Rather, they realized that speaking a language is distinct from speaking successfully within a culture, despite being related tasks, ultimately leading them to write this incredibly insightful book.
This quasi-anthropological study of French conversation produced a list of 12 unwritten rules of conversing with the French that they deduced from their years living in France. Far exceeding mere conversation rules, the book delves into the cultural underpinnings that constrain conversation with the French or guide it in particular ways.
Chapters are dedicated to major areas of conversation, and thus of life: family, privacy, the art of conversation, work, money, race, origin, food, and of course, salutations. The first chapter explicates the socio-cultural importance of greeting everyone, in any space, with the prerequisite “bonjour” before conversation is allowed to begin. They link this practice to notions of equality and brotherhood (the French national motto: “Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité!”). Yet they astutely explain the requisiteness of “bonjour” as a signal that “I am about to enter into your space, your routine, and need your permission to do so” (p. 23). Similarly, the chapter on privacy explains the implications of asking a French person’s name or occupation. Contrary to many other cultures, doing so will be viewed as an intrusion into one’s private sphere (p. 35). Reasoning is tied up with the narrow definition of “friendship” within France, the term “friend” being very judiciously applied. Such paralinguistic explanations are worth their weight in gold. This is particularly true for an American, for example, who may perceive French culture as nearly identical to his own, relative to Japanese or Saudi culture. Take heed: Important differences exist!
Some topics covered may touch a French nerve. French pessimism, the stuff of derisive stereotyping, particularly among Americans, is dissected. The authors recount anecdotes when pessimism seemed the default trait of their French interlocutors. Comedian Jamel Debbouze’s remarks buttress their claims: If you want to sound smart, be negative (p. 146). Veering into stereotyping, the most recent iteration of this trope came in the 2024 blockbuster Pixar film Inside Out 2, in which the emotion of boredom is portrayed by a beret-wearing, French-accented-speaking, slothful teen. Overblown or not, French pessimism is as crucial for Americans to understand, as is Americans’ innate penchant for optimism is for the French to understand.
Another divisive topic is that of the French’s disdain for political correctness. It has become common amongst French political elites to decry the importation of American “woke-isme." Implicating colonial history, economic inequality, and France’s strident laws against collecting data of the population examining race, deploying the term “woke-ism” serves as a facile method to dismiss unpleasant conversations. Ironically, debating the merits of specific words themselves is an activity of great entertainment value in France. The authors deduced that the French despise political correctness only because it bores them. Instead, “The French love conversations in which diverse perspectives clash and people duke it out intellectually. That’s considered far more interesting than reaching a consensus” (p. 83). American visitors should internalize this insight before attending their first dinner party in a French home.
It is unfortunate that the book was published in 2015 (reprint 2017), just prior to major social movements that swept the United States, then the globe. The “Me too” (in French, “Snitch on your pig [boss]”) and “Black Live Matters” (“Don’t touch my bro!”) surely changed the script on social values surrounding conversations of race, origin, ethnic difference, sex/gender identity and sexual harassment.
What constitutes a culture and its practices is inherently subjective. As such, a welcomed companion piece to The Bonjour Effect would be a sequel written by another francophone couple, living in France, but having roots in some other francophone country, in Africa, for example. Comparing such cases could corroborate the authors’ claims. Finally, just as generations of Americans become further differentiated by social mores, this book could be re-written by Gen Z authors and reach very different conclusions.
For TESOL educators, this book may spark ideation around the unwritten rules of communication within the United States using American English. Educators should determine which dimensions of conversation are most essential for their TESOL students in order to be effective communicators here in the US. What sorts of ideas and values undergirds these communicative practices? In what spaces or situations do Americans value equality or privacy? When do Americans expect friendly conversation, on what topics, and when do they expect no conversation? How serious are the consequences if your student unknowingly violates one of these norms? These questions merit some thought, then integration into curricula. Collaborators on a future The "What’s Up!" Effect, please reach out!
Michelle Skowbo
The Bonjour Effect by Julie Barlow and Jean-Benoit Nadeau
Roger Anderson
What does cracking the code of French conversation have to do with TESOL? This book was written by a French-speaking couple who lives in Montreal, Quebec. The wife is American, the husband is a native Quebecker, and their two adopted daughters are from Haiti. Together this couple gained notoriety through publishing two widely popular books on French culture, based on their four years (over the span of 15 years) living in France.
Despite speaking French fluently (natively), the couple too often felt exasperated when communicating with people in France. Not once did they cite the difference in their accents in French. Rather, they realized that speaking a language is distinct from speaking successfully within a culture, despite being related tasks, ultimately leading them to write this incredibly insightful book.
This quasi-anthropological study of French conversation produced a list of 12 unwritten rules of conversing with the French that they deduced from their years living in France. Far exceeding mere conversation rules, the book delves into the cultural underpinnings that constrain conversation with the French or guide it in particular ways.
Chapters are dedicated to major areas of conversation, and thus of life: family, privacy, the art of conversation, work, money, race, origin, food, and of course, salutations. The first chapter explicates the socio-cultural importance of greeting everyone, in any space, with the prerequisite “bonjour” before conversation is allowed to begin. They link this practice to notions of equality and brotherhood (the French national motto: “Liberté, Égalité, Fraternité!”). Yet they astutely explain the requisiteness of “bonjour” as a signal that “I am about to enter into your space, your routine, and need your permission to do so” (p. 23). Similarly, the chapter on privacy explains the implications of asking a French person’s name or occupation. Contrary to many other cultures, doing so will be viewed as an intrusion into one’s private sphere (p. 35). Reasoning is tied up with the narrow definition of “friendship” within France, the term “friend” being very judiciously applied. Such paralinguistic explanations are worth their weight in gold. This is particularly true for an American, for example, who may perceive French culture as nearly identical to his own, relative to Japanese or Saudi culture. Take heed: Important differences exist!
Some topics covered may touch a French nerve. French pessimism, the stuff of derisive stereotyping, particularly among Americans, is dissected. The authors recount anecdotes when pessimism seemed the default trait of their French interlocutors. Comedian Jamel Debbouze’s remarks buttress their claims: If you want to sound smart, be negative (p. 146). Veering into stereotyping, the most recent iteration of this trope came in the 2024 blockbuster Pixar film Inside Out 2, in which the emotion of boredom is portrayed by a beret-wearing, French-accented-speaking, slothful teen. Overblown or not, French pessimism is as crucial for Americans to understand, as is Americans’ innate penchant for optimism is for the French to understand.
Another divisive topic is that of the French’s disdain for political correctness. It has become common amongst French political elites to decry the importation of American “woke-isme." Implicating colonial history, economic inequality, and France’s strident laws against collecting data of the population examining race, deploying the term “woke-ism” serves as a facile method to dismiss unpleasant conversations. Ironically, debating the merits of specific words themselves is an activity of great entertainment value in France. The authors deduced that the French despise political correctness only because it bores them. Instead, “The French love conversations in which diverse perspectives clash and people duke it out intellectually. That’s considered far more interesting than reaching a consensus” (p. 83). American visitors should internalize this insight before attending their first dinner party in a French home.
It is unfortunate that the book was published in 2015 (reprint 2017), just prior to major social movements that swept the United States, then the globe. The “Me too” (in French, “Snitch on your pig [boss]”) and “Black Live Matters” (“Don’t touch my bro!”) surely changed the script on social values surrounding conversations of race, origin, ethnic difference, sex/gender identity and sexual harassment.
What constitutes a culture and its practices is inherently subjective. As such, a welcomed companion piece to The Bonjour Effect would be a sequel written by another francophone couple, living in France, but having roots in some other francophone country, in Africa, for example. Comparing such cases could corroborate the authors’ claims. Finally, just as generations of Americans become further differentiated by social mores, this book could be re-written by Gen Z authors and reach very different conclusions.
For TESOL educators, this book may spark ideation around the unwritten rules of communication within the United States using American English. Educators should determine which dimensions of conversation are most essential for their TESOL students in order to be effective communicators here in the US. What sorts of ideas and values undergirds these communicative practices? In what spaces or situations do Americans value equality or privacy? When do Americans expect friendly conversation, on what topics, and when do they expect no conversation? How serious are the consequences if your student unknowingly violates one of these norms? These questions merit some thought, then integration into curricula. Collaborators on a future The "What’s Up!" Effect, please reach out!